- 2000: Volume 9, No. 4 Mentors for Traders

One of the most common regrets that I hear from my trader clients is the lack of mentoring received in their professional lives. They regret not having the support and guidance of a trusted person to whom they can talk about their trading problems, fears, experiences, and feelings. What they miss is someone who can give them advice, correct them when they are making mistakes, protect them from danger, teach them the secrets of doing things well, watch over them, care about their progress, and take pleasure and pride in seeing their eventual success.

If you look closely at the requirements for the job of mentoring, you begin to realize that the model for a mentor is a good, supportive, loving and wise parent-figure. In fact, a mentor is a parent-like teacher for an adult who no longer needs a parent. Just because, we have become fully responsible for our lives does not mean that we no longer need support and guidance. We need this mentoring support for the rest of our lives. Why, then, do so many traders feel that they do not have mentors or access to mentors? Why do they feel so isolated and lonely, the result of having no one around who takes an active interest in their professional and personal lives?

The answer to this question comes from the early relationship that a trader had with his parents. It is usually the case that the parent who is the same sex as the trader is the most significant and influential parent-mentor model for the trader. If that parent does not take an active interest in teaching the young trader how to grow into a productive, well-balanced, happy, and responsible adult, then the trader will have no future model of a mentoring relationship. Later on, that adult trader may have a very difficult time finding a mentor because he cannot recognize an obvious potential relationship. Furthermore, even if he finds a mentor, he may be unable or unwilling to ask for support and guidance. Instead, he may resist the assistance, even if it is the very finest help that he could receive because it is a way of getting back at his own father for not mentoring him.

A Mentor Dad

Recently, I visited the home of one of my clients. This trader, Dave, has a three-year-old son whom he loves deeply. Wherever he goes, Dave takes his son. He has already taught him how to catch a ball, swim, tease the cat, and a host of minor masculine activities. In return, the three-year-old son idolizes his father. When Dave bought a new red work shirt to wear around home, the little boy pestered his mother for days until she finally located a red shirt just like his dad's shirt. That little boy walks and talks like his trader dad and wants to be just like him in every way. In short, Dave has started his son on a life-long path of having a mentoring relationship.

You can see what would have happened if Dave had ignored his son until he was old enough to be interesting and helpful. In fact, many fathers never take an active interest in their sons because they use the excuse that they are either too busy or they never had the experience of being mentored by their own fathers. The result is a young man who does not have a sense of having people to whom he can go for advice, support, and guidance.

What's so important about having a mentor as a trader?

"So, I don't have a mentor," you say. "So what? What difference does it make?" The answer is that it makes a great deal of difference. From my professional experience and observation in counseling traders over the past 12 years, I have found that traders who have mentors do better as traders for the following reasons:

• Having a mentor allows traders to seek help when it is needed, which is a vital resource and one that provides traders with a competitive edge.
• If traders are heading for trouble, a mentor can help to steer them in the right direction.
• A mentor can save a trader a great deal of time by not having to repeat the same mistakes that he made or common mistakes that most new traders make.
• A mentor not only saves a trader a great deal of money by preventing losses, he can also make a great deal of money for a trader by guiding him to the best trading decisions.
• A mentor can protect a trader's career by providing him with emotional support. Even the most technical mentoring provides emotional support because it reduces anxiety, increases confidence, and allows the trader to feel that he is not alone.
• Traders with mentors are more disciplined and good discipline is the backbone of successful trading. Good discipline comes from having a strong sense of purpose and self-worth, which are side benefits of having a mentor.
• A mentor can steer a trader to other valuable resources that might have been previously unavailable or unknown to the trader.
• A mentor can act as a safety valve for a trader who is feeling pressure and is unable or unwilling to share his feelings with his family.

This list is only a sampling of the benefits that accrue to a trader who has a mentor. Suppose you do not have a mentor and you feel that you are not in an environment where you can find a suitable mentor?

Finding a Mentor

Have you ever been asked by a friend to retrieve something for him from a room in his home? After you have searched for the requested item unsuccessfully, your friend comes to rescue you and you find that the sought-after item was plainly within your sight the entire time. If so, you were probably looking for something without knowing what it looked like or what it really was. That is the situation for many traders who are looking for a mentor: they are not really certain what they are looking for or what a mentor really looks like.

What is a mentor? How would you recognize a mentor if you saw one? First, let's define a mentor: A mentor is a person who teaches, guides, and supports you in your efforts. You must have great confidence in the advice and guidance you receive from your mentor so that you will have no qualms about following his advice. A good mentor gives value to your life, providing you with the kind of information that makes you a better person or gives you the resources to develop a particular skill or ability. A potential mentor can be someone who is or could be:

• any age, sex, or occupation. Potential mentors come in all shapes, colors, and sizes.
• a pillar of his community excelling at everything he touches or he may not be very astute in any areas other than the one you are pursuing. Of course, it is probably better that he is someone whom you respect outside of his area of expertise because his influence may also extend to other areas of your life.
• a person you know very well, but never thought would be interested in helping you.
• a co-worker.
• a contact you have in your industry.
• a friend of the family.
• a relative.
• a total stranger to you now, but someone whom you respect and would like to meet and get to know.

Direct Mentors

All of these listed potential mentors are what I call "direct" mentors. You can meet and talk to them directly and receive one-on-one advice and support. They are genuine people who are accessible to your requests for help. There is a give-and-take relationship in your personal exchanges. Recognize the people in your life that may be sources for mentoring.

Indirect Mentors

Indirect mentors are people who instruct from a distance. You can access their wisdom, experience, and support through their written or spoken words. You may have access to them through seminars, books, or tapes.

You can develop a relationship with these indirect mentors by getting to know them so well that you can actually have conversations with them in your head. When you know enough about how a person thinks, you will hear answers to your questions as if they were directly from him.

A Mentor versus a Role Model

Another alternative to a direct mentor is a role model. People of action and achievement, who become famous for their self-discipline and successes, become role models when they are neither directly or indirectly accessible as teachers and/or coaches. A role model is someone whose life, ability, or achievement is an inspiration to you. They may not be accessible to you directly or indirectly, but your imagination alone can come up with their strategies for success.

For example, Benjamin Franklin can be a great indirect mentor. He spent his life writing about the lessons that he had learned. Franklin was eager to mentor as many people as he could reach. On the other hand, George Washington is a great role model. His life was a study in taking the high road, doing the right thing, and accepting the challenge to greatness. Although he wrote a fair amount during his lifetime, his written legacy is not what we use to learn from him.

Trading Mentor and Role Models

Our ever-increasing technology benefits us with more possibilities for finding mentors and role models. Now, most of the major financial magazines offer expert advice for free. The ever-increasing published works of trading experts in books and magazines, as well as their expertise presented in seminars and in conferences all help to bring mentors and role models to us on a silver platter. This abundance of support and guidance is available to any seeker who is willing to feast on it. For example:

• www.barchart.com
• www.pristine.com
• www.tradingontarget.com
• www.moneymentor.com
• www.traders.com
• www.futuresmag.com

Conclusion

A trader who has a working relationship with a mentor has a competitive edge. The support offered by a mentor shows up in the bottom line as well as in the overall well being of a trader. Since mentors can come in many different forms, a trader has so many options from which to choose that he does not have to feel that he is "doing it all alone." However, traders who grew up without a mentor-like relationship with their parents are often unable to recognize a potential mentor, seek his help, or utilize his support should it be offered. In order to overcome this obstacle to their success, they must be willing to work on their underlying issues and recognize the fact that mentors are available to support them.