- 1997: Volume 6, No. 6 Trader's Coach

Dear Coach:

It took me quite a long time before I had the courage to go out on my own and become an entrepreneur. But, as soon as I went into business for myself, my wife was extremely uncomfortable. After several years, she wanted a divorce, so I relented and now I'm making a huge amount of money working as a trading manager. My wife's thrilled, but I am very unhappy. I love my wife. What should I do?

The Devil's Pact

Dear Pact:

Here are the three options you have: Give up your wife, think of your current job as being on your own and approach it that way (because we are always ultimately working for someone else, and I'm sure you realize that is true when you think about the clients you had to please when you had your own business), or take on a smaller business as a sideline to satisfy your entrepreneurial needs. Choose one and pay the piper.

Dear Coach:

Recently I got divorced and I started going out with several people. One gentleman has particularly taken my interest and he seems to be interested in me. I would expect that someone who takes an interest would call every day and want to be part of my life. Unfortunately, this is not the case, and I'm finding that thinking about him all day is making my trading suffer. Am I deluding myself? Perhaps he's not interested?

Deluded or Maybe Not

Dear Deluded:

Thanks for allowing me to work at the fringes of Dear Abby. (I've always had a secret desire to do so.) The fact that you're recently divorced tells me that you're coming from the position of "need" and not the position of "want." That's not a good position for establishing a new relationship. This man has a life, and you just happened to come into it now. The more he gets interested in you, the more he will push his other activities aside to make room for you. If he doesn't make more room for you, enjoy the dating. If this isn't enough for you, move on. In the meantime, trade recipes instead.

Dear Coach:

Whatever happened to the stiff upper lip? I'm so tired of listening to traders whining about taking losses and feeling fear and agonizing over mistakes. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. I don't let my emotions enter my trading. Period. Who are all these crybabies?

Stiff Upper Lip

Dear Stiff Busy-body:

While you might be pointing the finger at other traders for displaying a lot of emotions, maybe someone needs to point the finger at you and ask, "where are his emotions?" If they're buried deep inside, they will show up in your trading eventually. On the other hand, if you're just a happily bored trader, keep up the good job and mind your own beeswax.