- 1997: Volume 6, No. 5 Trader's Coach

Dear Coach:

I'm so disciplined and goal oriented about trading that I don't enjoy life anymore. What am I doing wrong?

Goal Man

Dear Goal Man:

The fact is that goal-oriented people and people who use discipline in the right way do enjoy life. You are not goal-oriented. You are goal obsessed and relentless. Re-examine your goals and make sure that they include all areas of your life and set tasks that will make each area of your life enjoyable. In fact, come to think about it, it would help a lot if you actually got a life.

Dear Coach:

The other day, I had a call from an old friend who expects me to rescue him. He is in dire need of a good friend because he is going through a painful situation and has no resources and no one left. I really love me old friend, but in order for me to help him, I would have to involve my whole family to the extent that all of us would be a nurse to him. If I don't help him, I will feel like I've betrayed him. Since I got this call, my trading has suffered and frankly, I don't know how to handle it.

Saint Benedict Arnold

Dear Saint Bendict:

You can be a saint if you want to but you are only expected to be human. While it's important for us to do good deeds, especially for those who are closest to us, we cannot jeopardize the lives of our family members and our own life in order to rescue others who put themselves in very difficult situations. Do whatever you can to contact the right people who have the ability to give your friend the help and care he needs. But remember, you are a trader and not a trained nurse. And if all else fails, there's prayer.

Dear Coach:

I recently borrowed ,000 from my father-in-law to become a professional trader. My wife is very nervous about this and so is my father-in-law. But I am determined that I am going to learn what it takes to be a professional trader. I've given up my job and I would like some suggestions.

Out On a Limb With a Saw

Dear Out On a Limb:

You want my suggestion? Give back the money. Or, failing that, take part of the money and tell your father-in-law that it's going toward your trading education. And then, get yourself a job. It takes the average person from six months to two years to get the right training to become a good trader. And sometimes it takes longer than that to gather the necessary trading capital. Trading with scared money has doom and failure written all over it. Climb off that twig and get back to the trunk.

Dear Coach:

After many years of very successful trading, I became something of a mentor to several young traders. Recently, however, after a bad spell in my life, I gave one of them some really bad advice and it wrecked his career. Now, I am afraid to continue helping the other three and they are wondering what is wrong. What should I do?

The Messed-up Mentor

Dear Mentor:

I hate to break the news to you, but you've just learned you're not God. Even mentors need to learn lessons. Regarding the young trader who took your advice and whom you believe wrecked his career as a result, remember that he has a responsibility to make his own choices and one of those choices was you. You had good intentions and he had a choice. Look for an opportunity to help him back on his feet. And if he wants nothing to do with you, then do good for someone else in his name.

Take what you've learned from this experience and add it to your repertoire of what not to do or advice not to give to those who look to you for leadership. When you're a respected advisor to others you have a responsibility to keep yourself in balance. And remember, even though you might be in balance, you're still a human being evolving towards a spiritual being. When you reach this point, you will POOF and go away. As far as the others are concerned, continue to give them good advice and bump and stumble like the rest of us in life like a human being who happens to be a mentor.